What are we Full of?
by Billy Beasley
Our church, just concluded a short series on “______________ ful.” This past Sunday, our pastor at Lifepoint, Jeff Kapusta asked, “What are you full of?” It really made me search for a suitable answer. More importantly, an honest answer.
While I do not journal almost every day as my beautiful wife, Julie does. I do own a journal that I occasionally pen some thoughts in. I have begun to take it to church on Sunday and write down some of the points of the message.
After Jeff asked that question, I wrote down impatience, grumpiness, and frustration. This year, that began with great anticipation, has proved disappointing in so many ways. I feel guilty to even say that. I have so much to be thankful for and in our region where families are still displaced from Hurricane Florence, maybe I should just be quiet. However, it is honest to say the year has not been what we hoped it to be. Last year, I was spiritually stretched in ways I did not want to go and never thought possible and with that experience, we were both ready for new doors to fly open. They have not. Maybe I am still not ready. Maybe God has something in store at a later date. While I am being transparent, can I freely admit that I struggle with the whole perfect timing premise of God?
I asked Julie what was she full of yesterday evening and it led to her sharing about how she seems to be on edge with people who she perceives are talking down to her. I understand how that can be and I once carried an edge like that in my life. And to this day, my least favorite type of person is someone who is arrogant and condescending to others. Sadly, there are lot of Christians that fit this bill.
I can let it go easier these days. Maybe it is because as I have pressed into God and sought a more intimate relationship with Him. I know that He never looks down on me. And Julie knows this as well. She was just being honest. I think we often hold back voicing things because it might not sound right to someone. We might be lectured on the subject.
I am at the bottom of the heap in regards to being a Christian but I have known this for most of my adult life. If we are not dealing with complete honesty in our relationships, we have little opportunity to fix anything. It is only in our choice to be vulnerable enough to be honest that I believe we can make real progress in our relationships. This includes our relationship with God.
There was a point in my conversation with Julie when I said, “We don’t do this enough anymore. This is good. The conversations in the kitchen.” There was no television on. No one looking at their phone. We talked for a long time about our disappointments and our inadequacies. We asked ourselves what can we be full of. Why, especially during this time of year when wounds and hurts are expounded for so many. Why can’t we be fuller of love, grace, mercy and the greatest of all the gifts. (Thank you Nicky Pipkin) Encouragement. Look around. People need it. Julie and I need it. We all do.
So, what are you full of?
My prayers go out especially to those that have lost loved ones recently and this is your first year Holiday season without them. I pray God’s presence will envelop you and that you will be surrounded and supported by those that love you.
Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.
Billy, Julie, & Teke
About the Author
Billy Beasley resides in Carolina Beach, NC with his wife Julie and their Australian Cattle Dog, Teke. They are active members of Lifepoint Church in Wilmington, NC.
Billy is the author of The River Hideaway- a traditionally published work of faith based fiction and the newly published novel, The Preacher's Letter. He shares two simple beliefs with his favorite character in this novel. Faith in God and a conviction that ‘Hearts have no color’.
You can read Billy’s “Sunday Inspiration” column on the 2nd Sunday each month here at Pandora’s Box Gazette.