Spunky Tales: Terror in Doodleville?
by Linda Suit
In the wee hours of the nite Mommy got up and was sitting in her recliner reading. Picture this: She was sitting there in her nightshirt, long robe, a blanket throw over her legs, reading a murder mystery; it's dark...no lights on...suddenly she feels something on her big toe. Now Mommy has trouble with the nerves in her legs so for a split second she didn't panic...hold that thought...something furry ran under her robe and nightshirt, heading north. PANIC STRIKES! Mommy bolts out of the chair, blanket flying. She manages to hold onto her tablet and uses the light from it while dancing the night away to the tune of something that looked a lot like a celebratory tribal dance after they had cooked some"body" and were preparing for the feast of the flesh. She sees it! Nope, it wasn't me, although that thought entered her terror stricken mind for a split second, but she knew this creature of the dark was smaller than me. IT WAS A MOUSE creeping up her bare legs headed northbound! She sees it flop out of her robe onto the carpet! She turns every light in the living room on, kitchen lights are next...and then she spots "it". The peanut butter and mouse traps Jerry Boy was supposed to set before he went to bed. Jerry Boy, you are in a heap of trouble. You see, this widdle (Mommy will not agree to that) mousie has a sweet tooth and has been visiting the spare room where the candy is stored in tins where it can't be reached by mousies, but it's evident "they" have been there lounging. So why did it choose to attack Mommy? Well, she has been known to snack when she's up at nite reading, so poor widdle mousie was just hungry I guess. No, Mommy? Jerry Boy, if I were you I would find a favorite pillow and blankie and when you tuck the goaties in tonite be sure you have them with you cause I heard Mommy say she was gonna lock you outta the house. Don't worry Mommy, I'll protect you! Fear not! I am the Spunkinator! Mousies beware, WAR HAS BEEN DECLARED! That poor mousie is probably halfway to Ohio by now after all Mommy's dancing in Doodleville.
I decided to make my own dinner tonite & Mommy caught me in the pantry. I sorta accidentally threw the peanut butter jar at her when she busted me. Oops. Well, I'm hungry! You can see from my pic above that I am very good at helping in the kitchen. I'm eating potato peels. Nummy!
Warp speed again! Vrrroooommm! I can run from one room to the next before Mommy can blink. I have a hard time in that big kitchen/breakfast room cause I slip & slide. I put on the brakes but they don't work too good. Look out, here comes a wall! Owie! Speaking of wall, I was climbing them today too, yep, shimmied right up that wall just like I knew what I was doing. We have a floor lamp with a long pole & I shimmy up & down it. Hmm, maybe I'd make a good fireman?
I decided to help Mommy redecorate the house. She saw me as I jumped on a wall hanging in her office, skewing it just the right way...crooked, then I took a flying leap to the window treatment (again) & skittered across to the top of a bookshelf, rearranged a few things there, jumped down on the loveseat, grabbed some of the dried flowers in the vase & well, never mind...then ran to the living room (forbidden territory). Mommy couldn't keep up with me & when she came in calling me, I popped my head out the top of the lampshade of the Van Briggle lamp. Oopsie. She didn't like that too much, so I wiggled out of the Briggle & RAN FOR MY LIFE!!! Aww, Mommy, it's all in fun.
Lookie what I found! Mommy, where you been hiding these? I knew I smelled them. An all you an eat buffet! I need to hide some of them so I jumped on Mommy's shoulder & tried to stuff one in her ear. Hold still will ya? I'm busy here! So, I pigged out, hid some, then I was soooo full I crashed upside down in a nutty coma. Maybe I'll wake up before dinner time huh? Or maybe I'll sleep til dessert time. You ever eat so much you're just uggh, no more food? Nah, me either, he he.
I have to tell ya a conversation I had with Mommy. It went like this:
ME: Mommy, why do you get headaches?
MOMMY: Because my halo gets too tight.
ME: Bwahahahahaha, try that one on somebody who doesn't know better! I know how to wear a halo so it doesn't get all wonky on your head, silly Mommy.
Let me tell ya about the basket. You know Mommy had to rescue this basket cause I ripped it to shreds right? So she put it in an ice cream bucket & hung the handle over my tree limb. Well this morning early she heard a crash. The flying part was kinda fun but I didn't like the landing so much. So, now my bucket's busted. Maybe I need a new bucket list, huh?
Jerry Boy went to town & brought back a chicken. I think it's a roasted one, the kind you spit on it then cook it, or maybe you cook it on a spit. Anyway Mommy didn't have to cook it & I didn't get to spit on it so I guess it was ok. Here comes Miss Libby Long Legs again. She came prancing right up to me & stuck her face next to my Happy-tat so I started licking her nose. Ha ha, she thought it was kinda cool, jumped back, then put her nose back again. Yup I'm still here, lick lick. I always wondered what a goatie nose tasted like. Not too bad. Don't try this at home kids, might get you in trouble.
How did we spend Super Bowl Sunday? Jerry Boy kicked back watching guys running around chasing each other with some sort of ball tackling each other, all over that itty bitty ball? Hey, is it really worth all this wrestling over something like that? I know what I would do. If they were chasing me, I'd run the other way! Who cares which way is the right way. Run for your life! Squirrels know how to avoid geting clobbered.
No baby Doodles yet, although Scruff E and Fox E are regulars, and there are lots of other Doodles running around so we're waiting for the big events. Stay tuned!
Happy Valentine's Day to you all. Hug someone you love, maybe even surprise someone you don't love and hug them anyway. I'm sending you all lots of Spunky love. Tune in next month for Springtime in Doodleville! March is a very special time for me. You will have to come back to find out why
About the Author
Linda Suit is a city girl turned country. A travel agent by trade, she and her husband, Jerry, live in rural Arkansas with their animals including an amazing pet squirrel, Spunky Doodle. Spunky has brightened the lives of many with her stories. She is quite a character and definitely lives up to her name of Spunky.
Linda has traveled the world. Her passion for missions comes alive in her stories from remote areas. She will make you laugh and tug at your heartstrings.
You can read Linda’s “Spunky Tales” adventures on the 2nd Saturday each month here at Pandora’s Box Gazette.