Diary of a Prodigal Daughter: Defeat

Woman sitting down and reading her Bible and praying
Credit: Fa Barboza in Unsplash.com


by Christine Carter

Yes, it is a simple six-letter word, but can have a huge impact on your life. We have all been there at one time or another. A time when disappointment ways heavy on your shoulders, and you can literally feel it like a physical weight bearing down on you. You feel you are at a standstill and wonder where you will go from here.

There are so many situations in life that can bring us to a place of defeat. It could be the loss of a loved one, a relationship or a job. Maybe someone really hurt you, or maybe you are disappointed in yourself. It could be many things that have burdened you for a long time, and you feel as if you can no longer bear them.

Most of us if we are old enough have reached this point at least once in our lives. Some have experienced this feeling more than once. One of my first times experiencing this was the first time I realized I would no longer have my mom in my life to seek out for support. Not because she fixed everything, but because she loved me, and she was always there for me.

I recently have felt a great amount of defeat in the form of disappointment—disappointment in my expectations in life being broken and disappointment in myself for not being able to 'pull myself up by my bootstraps' as the saying goes. Just what are bootstraps anyway?!

Sometimes in life there comes a time when you look around yourself and ask, “how did I get here?” as the Talking Heads song goes. Unfortunately, this is a part of being human, knowing the pain of defeat.

One good thing to remember during these times is that Jesus understands our sorrows and is acquainted with our grief. He understands being burdened. Remember in the garden when Jesus asked several times if God the Father could 'take this cup from him'? He was asking to not have to go to the cross. Then he said, 'nevertheless not my will, but thine be done'. Jesus knew what it felt like to carry the weight of the world's sins on himself. Can you imagine what that felt like?

It is hard enough just carrying the weight of our own sins around. But what does Jesus also tell us about burdens?

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30)

What does this mean for each of us personally? It is a promise Jesus makes to us when we allow Him to guide us. We don't have to be burdened by guilt and anxiety. If we throw off the reigns and let the Father guide our steps, we turn over the burdens as well. He will take them up on our behalf.

As much as I knew my mom loved me no matter what, only the love of God through His Son Jesus is 100% unconditional and unending.

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)

So, when you are feeling defeated, remember your Lord who felt what you are feeling, who offered to help carry your burdens, and whose love and faithfulness never ends.

You are surely not alone. You can rest in Him


About the Author

Christine Carter at Mustard Seed Sentinel

Christine Carter is a working mom of a 12-year-old active son Marquis and has been married to her best friend Brent Carter for almost 15 years.

She attends Bethel: the Church at Philadelphia Mills, where she has been attending for almost 12 years.

She is currently a Quality Assurance Specialist at Gate 1 Travel in Fort Washington, PA. She resides in Levittown, PA, where she has lived for most of her life.

She is currently attending John Brown University’s online program where she is working on finishing a Psychology Degree which she began at JBU in NW Arkansas in the 1990s. She expects to graduate in May 2021.

She has always enjoyed writing, and poetry has been her method of choice. She believes that if you have a talent or a gift from God, or a desire to be used for His kingdom, He will make a way. You simply need to be willing.

You can read Christine’s Diary of a Prodigal Daughter column on the 3rd Friday each month here at Mustard Seed Sentinel.