How to Forgive an Unforgivable Person
It’s Only Through God’s Strength and Power
by J.M. Troppello
Forgiving people is not easy. There have been people in my life who’ve hurt me severely. I’ve only been able to forgive through the power and strength of the Holy Spirit.
“Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” (Colossians 3:13, NKJV)
Yet there is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance.
Just because you forgive someone, doesn’t mean that you can easily accept them back into your life.
Some people you’ve had to forgive will never be accepted back into your life. That’s the case with one person in my life—my ex-boyfriend who emotionally and sexually abused me. I had to forgive him so that I could move on in a positive and productive relationship with my husband. Yet, he will never be a part of my life again.
And I don’t believe that God would ever ask that of me. I forgave him. I moved on.
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NKJV)
Maybe you’re dealing with picking up the pieces of your life over something that someone did to you—and you can’t seem to forgive them. Consider the following ways that you can forgive an unforgivable person.
And remember, forgiving doesn’t mean they need to have an active role in your life.
1. Go to God
The only way I’ve ever been able to forgive anyone—especially ‘unforgivable’ people—is that I’ve gone to God in serious prayer time. I’ve read Bible verses about forgiveness over and over. I’ve spent time in praise and worship. I’ve asked the Holy Spirit to give me the strength and power to forgive.
2. Erase the Past
Of course, you can’t erase the past or forget what happened to you. However, you need to make a concerted effort to get rid of anything that reminds you of this person. Remember, this isn’t an article on how to forgive a ‘small’ offense. This is an article sharing advice on forgiving ‘unforgivable’ offenses. You need to disconnect from this person. You must make a clean break, so you have time to heal after dealing with the hurt and forgiving this individual.
3. Get Support
You will need to confide in someone. This confidant must be someone that you trust completely. You need to know they won’t break your trust in them. You might need to get support from a professional counselor or to speak to your Pastor or church leader. Maybe speaking to your close friend or family member will be able to help you. No matter who you speak to, just realize that you need to reach out to someone.
Ask God for the Power to Forgive
25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25-26, NKJV)
Trust God to help you through this process. Spend time in prayer, Bible reading, and praise and worship. Erase the past and any connections that will hinder your pathway toward forgiving this person. Get the support that you need to help you through this difficult journey.
Article syndicated by Mustard Seed Sentinel on Medium.com.
About the Author
J.M. Troppello is an author, writer, and poet. She is the publisher of the online Christian lifestyle magazine, Mustard Seed Sentinel.
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