Faith Can Move Mountains
by Chrissy Kay
About three months ago, I woke up numb on the entire left side of my body. From my face, all the way to my foot, I felt almost nothing. I thought I had suffered a stroke.
A visit to the emergency room ended in admittance for the evening so the doctors could perform a barrage of tests. By late afternoon the following day, I was released with a booklet to read about TIA's (aka mini strokes)—that is what the hospital thought I had suffered.
I was discharged and unable to walk on my own, but walking was just a small fraction of the suffering I would endure over the next few months. Once I returned home, I quickly realized this situation was going to challenge me in more ways than one.
I have always been independent. I have never been comfortable asking for help, so I hated my situation. I woke up and struggled to dress on my own. I could not drive. I opened my eyes every day and, instead of being thankful, I felt like I was a burden on my family. I wanted to die.
It was frustrating to spend nearly every day at one or two doctor's appointments, while they performed often painful tests on me. It also seemed as though none of my doctors agreed with each other’s diagnosis.
However, with each appointment came a new finding. A clue to the puzzle. With all this happening, it didn't feel like a joyous Christmas season. Christmas came, and we decided to take our family to "Christmas Town" to enjoy the lights. I hoped it would help restore some of my joy.
I still could not walk, so my husband wheeled me around without even hesitating. I am so thankful for him. That night we chose to go happened to be one of the busiest of the year. As we went on and enjoyed the sights, sounds, and smells of the season, I stared at hordes of people walking towards and next to us.
I was not at eyesight, and I could not see their faces. I felt like I was seeing hundreds of people from the perspective of a child. Seeing things from a child's view was a terrifying experience.
I felt as though I would be trampled at any moment, but my trust was in the man pushing me in my wheelchair. I knew he would keep me safe. I imagine it is similar to the faith children have in their parents doing the same.
This same faith we have in God, our Father, to protect us and keep us safe. It is a knowing that, even though we are scared, tired, and want to quit, He is with us and will see us through.
Faith can move mountains (Matthew 17:20). That is faith in a nutshell. It was that day that I realized I needed to look at life differently. I needed to look at it from a different perspective because this was my whole new world.
Several weeks have passed since that day and, although I saw things differently, it did not change my daily struggle (mentally or physically). I had to change my way of thinking because that is free will.
Although I am slowly regaining my physical abilities back, I continue to struggle. My family and close friends have been an incredible blessing to me during this time, and I am thankful, especially for my husband and children. They all have gone through this with me daily and have seen me in some very dark places.
The people in my life, even strangers, have shown me that there is still a whole lot of love and compassion in the world. Today, I am better than I was yesterday.
Although I have some permanent vision loss and neurological damage that will never be repaired, there is finally some hope. All this suffering was not for nothing, and I learned a lot about the world from a different perspective.
The best part for me, though, is my doctors think they have an answer. Not only could a new treatment help me regain my strength, and reduce my tremors, but it could also potentially eliminate my neutropenia—this is the most amazing news yet!
About the Author
Chrissy Kay is the owner and founder of Glory and Grace Silks.
Her background includes 12 years in the Housing and Property Management Industry, including: writing budgets, auditing financials, and maintaining residential occupancy when working onsite.
The hands-on learning she received during that time was invaluable knowledge which prepared her for the business aspect of owning and running her own company.
Today she spends her time designing and painting silk scarves, and art, and managing all aspects of her company.
You can read Chrissy’s column on the 2nd Tuesday each month here at Mustard Seed Sentinel.