Hacking Life Journal: When Depression Continues Getting Worse

Depression at Mustard Seed Sentinel
Credit: Dan Meyers

When Depression Continues Getting Worse

by Melodie Haas

My depression continues to get worse and worse…maybe it’s the winter.

Even though Oklahoma City does not get anywhere close to the amount of snow that Massachusetts gets, it is still so dreary. Today it is overcast, and it did snow the other day about 4 inches. Everything was closed for a couple of days.

I do not want to do anything. When I do, I catch another cold or add onto whatever thing I have right now. So, I would rather stay in and keep away from everyone. I even stopped going to church, but at least I can watch the service online.

I don’t want to do anything these days. However, I am trying to use the rest of one type of GI Bill. It pays for me to go to school, which will help me pay down my debt.

It is really hard for me to go to school and it creates in me an up and down roller coaster of emotions. It adds to my depression and anxiety. Each teacher or professor is different, and some are incredibly critical of my writing. I actually agree with the professor who tells me my writing is lacking in proper grammar. This constructive criticism puts me on edge. I just have to hope that the next 12 weeks go a lot better than my other classes went.

Also, I can’t receive a C in a class since I already have a C. You can only have one C if you want to graduate. The GI bill is paid by the VA so at least there is that.

It is a miracle that I am able to complete any assignments since I have been so sick and depressed. The depression is so deep, and I feel so bad for my dog.

How is your winter going? Do you feel more depressed or is it the same?


About the Author

Hacking Life at Mustard Seed Sentinel

Melodie Haas is a retired Veteran who loves Jesus. She is attending Liberty University online MAIS. She writes a blog about finding savings or hacks. You can connect with her online at her blog or on Twitter. You can read Melodie’s “Hacking Life” on the 2nd Friday each month here at Mustard Seed Sentinel.

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