Inspired Learning: 3 Ways to Become More Emotionally Mature

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3 Ways to Become More Emotionally Mature

A Basic Guide to Increasing Your Emotional Intelligence Level

by J.M. Troppello

According to, “Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it’s an inborn characteristic.”

I used to have anger management issues and a low emotional intelligence level. Through personal development—and a copious amount of reading self-help books—I was able to handle my anger issues and increased my EI.

One of the biggest lessons I learned was to stop reacting immaturely to people, things, and circumstances. I realized that responding maturely led to more positive results in my personal and professional relationships.

How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence Level

“Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.” – Travis Bradberry

1. Become a Better Responder

You need to understand that there is a difference between reacting and responding. Generally, reacting to someone or something means that your reaction is rash or harsh. It is usually not well-thought-out and composed.

When you respond to someone or something, you usually do that in a calm tone and behave rationally. You won’t act out in an immature manner by yelling or fighting.

Conflict is not always easy to deal with—especially if you’re like me and try to avoid it at all costs. However, since my EI has increased, I have been more mature, properly assertive, and able to respond the right way, rather than reacting immaturely.

2. Learn to Listen More

Emotionally intelligent individuals know how to listen to people. They can have rational and intelligent conversations. These people don’t interrupt often and won’t talk over someone in a conversation.

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” – Bryant H. McGill

When you talk less and listen more, you can get to know people better. You are focused on what they have to say and aren’t concentrating on what you’re going to say next. Mature listeners are able to pick up on nonverbal cues, like facial expressions and body language. This can help them to adjust their own tone accordingly.

3. Utilize Mindfulness

According to the Clinical Psychology Review article, Effects of Mindfulness on Psychological Health: A Review of Empirical Studies, by Shian-Ling Keng, Moria J. Smoski, and Clive J. Robins:

“Mindfulness can be effective in enhancing positive emotions and decreasing negative emotions and stress. It is beneficial for focusing your mind on positivity, which can cultivate positive interactions with others.”

Practicing mindfulness helps you to become more aware of your surroundings. It helps you to be present in the moment. In, Katherine Hurst shares her “5,4,3,2,1 Anxiety Grounding: The 5 Senses Exercises”. This grounding exercise can help you to calm down and refocus.

Think about your five senses:

  • Sight

  • Hearing

  • Smell

  • Taste

  • Touch

Ask yourself what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch in that moment. Doing this can take your mind off the immediate stressors and help you think about what is actually grounding you in the moment.

Start Your Journey Today

“The key to creating the mental space before responding is mindfulness. Mindfulness is a way of being present: paying attention to and accepting what is happening in our lives. It helps us to be aware of and step away from our automatic and habitual reactions to our everyday experiences.” – Elizabeth Thornton

I believe you can become more emotionally mature.

It happened to me.

Focus on becoming a better responder, rather than reactor. Learn how to improve your listening skills. Start utilizing mindfulness techniques to help you feel more grounded in the moment.


About the Author

J.M. Troppello at Mustard Seed Sentinel

J.M. Troppello is an author, writer, and poet. She is the publisher of the online Christian lifestyle magazine, Mustard Seed Sentinel.

Connect with the author on Twitter. You can find her on these social media channels—Twitter, Facebook, Parler, Spreely, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Clouthub. Visit the Mustard Seed Sentinel YouTube Channel. Visit MSS Live Well Corner and our Ko-Fi MSS Community.