Life Balance: 5 Qualities to Look for in People You Allow into Your Inner Circle

Two young women standing next to each other and holding a flower in front of their faces
Credit: Sam Manns in

5 Qualities to Look for in People You Allow into Your Inner Circle

Choose Wisely to Ensure Symbiotic Personal Growth and Development

by J.M. Troppello

According to Siddharth Rajsekar, founder of the Internet Lifestyle Hub, “There is power in your inner circle when those involved are like-minded.”

Who’s in your inner circle?

Maybe your inner circle consists of close family members or friends. You might have an inner circle that includes coworkers. There may only be 1 or 2 very close people who are in your inner circle like a spouse or significant other or sibling.

“You cannot have a private relationship in a public arena. You must look to an inner circle of people who really know you. Don’t expect to have that kind of intimate relationship with people who only know you publicly. Do not seek to be understood by the world.” – T.D. Jakes

I love that quote from T.D. Jakes, especially the last sentence. His advice that you shouldn’t seek to be understood by the world is simple yet so profound. It runs so contrary to what occurs in the world today. People share so much of their lives online. Not everything needs to be shared on social media.

There is value in cultivating a strong, but a small group of people who are in your inner circle. Share life together and develop beautiful connections. Don’t feel as if you need to explain yourself to the entire world.

Consider the following 5 qualities you should look for when you want to let someone into your inner circle.

1. Trust

There must be genuine trust between you. Without trust, you can’t be vulnerable because you may fear that the information you share will be shared with those outside your circle. Being vulnerable with those in your inner circle is important for personal growth and development. Be wise and choose people you can trust to be in your inner circle. This sounds like common sense. However, it’s a powerful building block for cultivating close relationships in your life.

2. Truth

Don’t live in an echo chamber. For true personal growth and development, it’s vital to be close to individuals who speak the truth (hopefully in love and constructive criticism). You need people around you who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it, and who won’t be afraid of what you say in response. If you only surround yourself with people who always tell you what you want to hear, that won’t challenge you to grow as an individual.

3. Vision

It’s crucial to bring people into your inner circle who are visionaries. You need people in your circle that you trust, who can encourage you as you strive to achieve your goals. You want go-getters, not nay-sayers in your corner. The encouragement that visionary people can give you will be invaluable as you seek to accomplish great things and make your life better.

4. Peace

Your inner circle should bring you peace. You don’t need toxic people around you to bring you down to their level of negativity. When you surround yourself with positive and peaceful people, that can become a great catalyst for increased productivity in your life. You’ll have a strong support system around you.

5. Grace

Cultivate a sense of grace within your inner circle. You and those in your circle will make mistakes. Offer grace and forgiveness. Learn to grow together in grace—which is freely given and received. Yes, you will all need to take personal responsibility for your actions to grow and develop as mature individuals. However, being able to give and receive grace is a huge factor in living a positive and productive life that can encourage and inspire others.

Choose Your Inner Circle Wisely

That quotes from T.D. Jakes is still resonating in my mind. It’s the people who are close to you who will be there when you need help. Choose your inner circle wisely. There will likely even be times when you need to let someone go who was in your circle. Life is a cycle. People change. Don’t be a toxic person and don’t surround yourself with toxic people either.

  • Trust

  • Truth

  • Vision

  • Peace

  • Grace

Choose people you can trust to speak the truth to you and who won’t blab your secrets the first chance they get. Pick visionaries to surround you who can lift you up and help you achieve your goals. Connect with people who highly value peace and grace. Choose wisely.

Article syndicated by Mustard Seed Sentinel on


About the Author

J.M. Troppello is an author, writer, and poet. She is the publisher of the online Christian lifestyle magazine, Mustard Seed Sentinel.

Connect with the author on Twitter. You can find her on these social media channels—Twitter, Facebook, Parler, Spreely, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Clouthub.

Visit the Mustard Seed Sentinel YouTube Channel.

Visit MSS Live Well Corner and our Ko-Fi MSS Community.