Life Balance: Is it Hard for You to Say Sorry?


Two young women holding daisies in front of their eyes
Credit Sam Manns in Unsplash.com

Life Balance: Is it Hard for You to Say Sorry?

Apologizing is a Powerful Thing to Do

by J.M. Troppello


“I wish I’d known that apologizing is a sign of strength. I had the impression that if you apologize, it’s a sign of weakness. I kind of picked up the message from my father, ‘Real men don’t apologize. You just do your best, and if you happen to hurt some people, that’s their fault. You just go on. Don’t apologize. That’s a sign of weakness.’” – Gary Chapman

It’s not always easy to say sorry to someone that you’ve hurt or offended.


Yet, apologizing can become a powerful way to enrich your relationships with others in your life. Now, I’m not referring to going on an apology tour and apologizing for everything in your life—even when things were not your fault.


That’s not healthy for you or anyone involved.


However, when you mess up, it’s important to fess up.


Through the years, I’ve had different experiences with apologizing. I had allowed people to walk all over me. I apologized all the time just to keep the peace.


Now, I’ve learned how to set boundaries and that I don’t have to apologize when it’s not my fault—just to keep someone happy. That was an unhealthy path I’d taken for years simply because I couldn’t handle conflicts in a mature way.


Conflicts frightened me.


I couldn’t speak up for myself. Then the apologies started just to make those around me happy—even though I was miserable.


On the flip side, it’s not healthy if you never apologize when you’re wrong or mess up. You need to take responsibility for your actions. If you want to live like an emotionally mature adult, you need to admit your mistakes and then move on.


“One of the things I’m trying to get better at is apologizing when I make mistakes. That’s been a big priority of mine.” – Evan Spiegel

Apologizing has enriched my relationships, both professionally and personally. Psychology Today recently reported information gathered from a study completed by Michael E. McCullough, Ph.D., Steven J. Sandage, M.S., and Everett L. Worthington Jr., Ph.D. In their study, they examined the following:


“Whether the effect of apology on our capacity to forgive is due to our increased empathy toward an apologetic offender. They discovered that much of why people find it easy to forgive an apologetic wrongdoer is that apology and confession increase empathy, which heightens the ability to forgive.”

What they discovered in that study resonates with me. In my experience, it has been much easier to forgive someone when they offered me a genuine apology. Others have been able to forgive me when I’ve offered them a heartfelt apology.


Own Your Actions


If you want to continually grow and develop as a mature individual, it is vital that you understand the power of apologizing when the moment calls for it.


Apologizing can become the catalyst for the following things:


  • Opening the path toward forgiveness and being forgiven

  • Renewing and enhancing your relationships

  • Increasing your emotional intelligence (EI) level

  • Cultivating a sense of humility in your life


Own your actions today. Work on becoming better at apologizing when you mess up. Don’t allow rifts in your relationships to fester. Focus on becoming a better person, not a bitter one.


Article syndicated by Inspiration Realm on Medium.com.


 

About the Author


J.M. Troppello at Mustard Seed Sentinel

J.M. Troppello is an author, writer, and poet. She is the publisher of the online Christian lifestyle magazine, Mustard Seed Sentinel.


Connect with the author on Twitter. You can find her on these social media channels—Twitter, Facebook, Parler, Spreely, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Clouthub. Visit the Mustard Seed Sentinel YouTube Channel. Visit MSS Live Well Corner and our Ko-Fi MSS Community.



0 comments