Arguing Over Insignificant Things
Getting Over Triggers in Your Marriage
by J.M. Troppello
Super Beets versus coconut water.
Those two things caused an argument between my husband and me.
The Back Story
I needed to find something that can give me an energy boost on days when I need it since I can’t drink caffeinated beverages. I used to be able to drink them. However, about ten years ago, I stopped drinking Coke and Pepsi. I wanted to stop drinking soda since I used to drink 1-2 cans a day.
After giving up those two beverages (although, I did prefer Coke over Pepsi), caffeine started to have a negative effect on me. Since I didn’t drink caffeinated beverages anymore, if I did have something with caffeine, I got very bad headaches.
Now, I only drink decaf and herbal teas, water, or pomegranate juice. If I want soda, I drink ginger ale or Sprite. I never liked coffee, so there was no issue with having to give up coffee to stop having headaches from caffeine.
The Phone Call and My Research
I had mentioned the Super Beets product to my husband last night. As usual, he always likes to fix things. He researched it, and then called me during his lunch break to tell me what he’d found out.
I listened absent-mindedly since I was cleaning house at the same time. However, I did digest most of what he was talking about. A short while later, I checked out the information on Super Beets.
I then researched some more and found out that coconut water is good for converting carbs into fuel and can give your body an energy boost. It can also help with weight loss, enhance your skin, and reduce blood pressure and the risk of a stroke.
Back to the Argument
When my husband came home, we chatted for a few minutes about our days. When he sat down to watch some TV, he first mentioned to me about the Super Beets and the sale that was going on right now.
I was working on an article. However, when he mentioned Super Beets, that jogged my memory to tell him about the coconut water and what I’d learned.
I thought he was done talking, so I started sharing about the coconut water. He thought I was dismissing his research on the Super Beets. I wasn’t. I just wanted to share what I’d found out.
As I mentioned, he likes to help out and fix my problems. I guess that’s normal for many guys to do. However, I just wanted him to listen to me and what I had to say. He thought I was disrespecting him because I wasn’t all-in on his plan (to help me).
I wasn’t trying to dismiss him. I just wanted to be heard.
Anyway, we fell back into our normal defense mechanisms since we both felt triggered. He thought I devalued his contribution and said, “Fine, do whatever you want to do.”
I kept trying to explain my side and what I felt about the situation, but he was done with it and acted dismissively toward me. I raised my voice a bit because he started talking over me when I was speaking first.
It was a stupid, silly thing that turned into a big thing.
That’s how so many arguments start with people.
People get triggered by certain words or behaviors.
Then everything hits the fan and there is a HUGE mess.
Resolving the Issue
After a bit, we talked things out and resolved the issue. We both apologized and said we’ll try to do better next time. The Super Beets versus coconut water is still not resolved, but we have made up over the issue. And that’s what counts.
I told my husband that I know he was only trying to help. He said that he understood I just wanted to be heard.
The next time you get into an argument with your spouse, significant other, or someone else, just think about the Super Beets versus coconut water debate. Hopefully, thinking about how we allowed an insignificant issue to explode into an argument, can help you to resolve your disagreements as well.
About the Author
J.M. Troppello is an author, writer, and poet. She is the publisher of the online Christian lifestyle magazine, Mustard Seed Sentinel.
Connect with the author on Twitter. You can find her on these social media channels—Twitter, Facebook, Parler, Spreely, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Clouthub. Visit the Mustard Seed Sentinel YouTube Channel. Visit MSS Live Well Corner and our Ko-Fi MSS Community.