Relationships: It’s Okay to Be Offended

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It’s Okay to Be Offended

Just Don’t React Poorly Because of It

by J.M. Troppello

I’ve been offended before. You are human too. It’s highly likely you’ve been offended in the past as well. Some people get more easily offended than others. I don’t get easily offended. It’s easy for me to understand other people’s perspectives and offer grace. I know some people who easily get offended.

Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! 2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” (Luke 17:1-4, NKJV)

Being offended is not a sin. However, acting negatively in your offenses is a sin. It's okay to be offended, just don’t react poorly because of it.

1. No Revenge

Don't act out in revenge against the person you feel offended you. Getting stagnated in anger only hurts you. It can derail any spiritual growth you want to have in your life. Staying offended can hinder your prayer life. It can hurt your relationships with others because your actions are based on the way you’ve been hurt before.

2. No Bitterness

Don’t let anyone live rent-free in your head. Stop replaying the offense over and over again in your mind. Follow my 24-Hour Rule and vent to a trusted friend (or to God) about your feelings. Then give those feelings of offense over to God. Trust Him to take care of the situation. Pray for reconciliation with that person who hurt you. If you can’t let go of the feelings of offense, follow my 24-Hour Rule Plus Prayer.

You can break the rules and discuss those past offenses or hurts committed against you. However, you and your trusted friend need to immediately pray about the situation again and ask God to help you get past the hurt. Don’t allow yourself to continually replay the negative situation over and over again in your mind. Pray for that person who offended you. Pray for them whenever you start replaying the hurt over again in your mind.

3. Pray More

If you're easily offended, you can’t overcome this on your own. Pray and ask God to help you overcome this issue so that you can make more mature behavioral decisions. Look up Bible verses pertaining to this issue of being offended. Read Luke 17:1-4 (mentioned at the beginning of this article) every day if you need to. Seek prayer from your pastor, church leader, or a trusted friend or family member. Ask them to hold you accountable for your behavior in this area.

4. Offer Grace

Ask God to help you understand people better. Ask Him to help you understand why they act the way they do. You can learn about different personalities to help you with this journey. Pray that God can help you offer grace to others because He’s given grace to you each day. Take a free personality test online. Identify your personality and the different types of personalities. That helped me to learn about who I am, what my emotional triggers are, and how to interact more maturely with others.

Don’t Stagnate in Offense

You can choose to stay offended, or stop being offended, and then offer grace. Of course, you shouldn’t allow yourself to be “walked on” again and again by others. However, everything you do should be walking in love—even “speaking the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). Don’t take revenge. Never allow bitterness to take root in your heart. Instead, ask God to help you become a better person through all your experiences. Start to pray more. Ask God to help you offer more grace to others.

Article syndicated by Mustard Seed Sentinel on


About the Author

JM Troppello at Mustard Seed Sentinel

J.M. Troppello is an author, writer, and poet. She is the publisher of the online Christian lifestyle magazine, Mustard Seed Sentinel.

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